It’s Not Always Winning

Life is full ups and downs, but the Instagram culture that has taken this world by storm will have us believe it’s always about winning because winning is the only thing that makes it to instagram.

Here’s a part of my story you don’t hear often but it’s always great to hear them.

Everyday and when I say everyday, I mean everyday, I struggle to get my work done. I wake up sometimes thinking “must I work today,” other times, I open my laptop and stare at my laptop a whole day without getting anything done. You see me write a lot, but I also struggle with writing every now and then. Yes, I write with joy but it doesn’t reduce the uneasiness that comes with it.

Sometimes I wonder if what I’m doing has meaning at all. Other times I wonder if it will amount to anything. It’s a daily struggle here and there.

Sometimes I feel like I’m winning, sometimes like I’m losing, other times, I can’t even tell what I’m feeling.

But that only makes me human. It’s never always winning for anyone, it’s just about what we talk about. And we say the good ones more.

I can go on listing all the struggles… but I should stop already, my message should be clear, it’s never a straight line of winning.

A tendency when we hear about other people’s struggles is to wish the tables were turned and you take on there’s while you let go of yours. But that’s not the way to progress in life. You see the Bible was right when it says “we all have the capacity to handle our struggles.” Anecdotal evidence supports this as well. Think about your struggles of 10 weeks ago, can you even remember them? Almost no.

What you want to optimize for at every point of your life is that when you look back, it should be clear that you’ve been progressing.

Image by @visualizevalue

Days are designed to be chaotic and there’s nothing you can do to stop that. The same day that you feel hyper happy you can reach your deepest low on those days. But if I may ask you again the lows you were feeling 10 weeks ago, what about them now? Forgotten.

Make sure you don’t do anything funny during your low periods. Just cope with them. Yes, cope with them because you can’t wish them away. You are blessed if you have a shoulder (parent, wife, husband, friend, girlfriend or boyfriend etc) to lean on when you feel those lows.

It makes us human. Yes the ups and downs is a good reminder of our humanity.

Here’s what I’ve learned as well, embracing realities of life like this helps us to cope with than denying them.

My understanding of nature is that “it is best conquered when we align with it. Don’t fight it.” Embracing your lows is a difficult one, but it’s a good response to it.

Here’s another thing that I noticed. Many times, what brings us to those lows are our perception of reality not reality itself. Reality is objective, it brings no one down or lift anyone up. It’s just there. Our perception of it determines what we feel. And our perception is in our control but we can’t also over control it. Life isn’t balance.

Perception of reality

Recently, I did a work, I wasn’t sure what to make of the work so I was feeling low (the work itself is objective remember, my perception was brought me low). It turns out the work was great as it well received by the client. However, my period of feeling low has pushed me to do deatiled and well researched work on another project.

You see why we can’t over control our perception now. Some times those perceptions that makes us feel low push us towards excellence and breakthrough.

The best we can do is accept being human and embrace our humanity. We can’t over optimize it.

If you are in a position where you feel low currently, I’m telling you that it’s fine we all feel it. The best among us those, you might not just see it. Don’t wish it away (wishing away is our default response but it never works, I know because I’ve done it), but let it lead you to a path where your life must go. Embrace your humanity and you tend to be fine in the long enough time.

Have a great week starting.