Something caught my attention while I was listening back to the recording of a call I took part in a few weeks ago.
I was trying to find the answers to some of the questions I had asked so that I could recall the responses given.
As I listened, I noticed that almost every time I spoke, the word “sorry” appeared in my first sentence. That felt strange, and my immediate reaction was to wonder whether I was apologising too much. I would hate for that to be the case, not only in this meeting but in others too.
Because the call had been transcribed, it was easy to count how often I used the word. Of the 31 times “sorry” was said during the call, nine were mine: 29%.
I asked Copilot to carry out a similar count. It initially declined because of its policy, but after I clarified that I was David, it agreed to check.
Its assessment was fair. As the SME on the call, I needed to steer the conversation, challenge assumptions and be explicit about gaps. That meant I sometimes had to interrupt or pause the existing flow. In those moments, I was using “sorry” as a conversational softener. Copilot explained.
That explanation made sense, but I would still like to broaden the range of softening phrases I use rather than relying so heavily on “sorry”.
Some alternatives I could use, and are using already are:
- “Just to confirm my understanding…”
- “A quick question, please…”
- “Let me check that I’ve understood correctly…”
Even in each of these examples, though, “sorry” could easily slip in at the beginning, and it did in this example, so I will need to be mindful of that.
I do not think I will stop using “sorry” altogether, particularly when I genuinely need to interrupt. I dislike interruptions, whether I am the one interrupting or the one being interrupted. However, I can be more intentional about when an apology is necessary and when a different conversational softener would work just as well.